While watching Rogue One, the first spin-off Star Wars film, I could not shake a feeling of pointlessness; we all know what happens at the end, I mean, we have all seen the original Star Wars, so what is the point here? The point is box-office dollars for Disney and spectacle for fans, and although it provides some well done eye candy, the movie should have been more.
Characters, for instance, drive these movies into our daily lexicon and pop culture, but I walked out of the theater remembering one name, Tarkin- and he was a character from the original(!), but more on that later. No one character here said one memorable line of dialogue, did one memorable thing, or looked memorable. Actually, that is a lie; C-3PO makes a cameo, and I remembered his name.
The plot is concerns Galen Erso's daughter, Jyn, who is the heroine of the film, trying to come in contact with her father, who is a research scientist catalyst to the creation of the Death Star. The remainder of the plot is well-oiled but derivative, essentially recounting the events leading to the first Star Wars while simultaneously retelling it. The prequel trilogy told the story of Darth Vader, a story worth telling. Here, the story is a 133 minute telling of the opening from the first one. Look, if you are going to give backstory on something, make it something we the audience do not already know the outcome of.
The actors all do a fine job, and all physically fit for the role and speak with conviction, but the talk, talk, talk, talk, what is the point of it all? We all know the Death Star plans land in the hands of the Rebellion! It would not have been an issue had they had anything interesting to say, but the people here subscribe to the theory that long, brooding bits of exposition trumps characterization.
But for all the visual effects, the world created here is a bore, planets dirty and grimy with scummy background actors and supporting actors with 5 o'clock shadows. Haven't we seen this before? Whether in another Star Wars film or in dozens of other examples, the universe we see here lacks the punch creator George Lucas so delicately crafted seemingly so easily. The underwater cities of Naboo from Episode I and countless others- they created a world full of whimsy and mystery, and Rogue One settles for dim, dark and dank dungeons and the same cramp spaceships we have seen before. The climax does take our heroes on a sunny beach, but it's resemblance to Florida, or any tropical land, destroys any chance it has at showcasing a truly original world for these aliens to live. Maybe it is a hidden advertisement for Disney World's new Star Wars rides.
It should come to no surprise that there is only one shot of a lightsaber, a trademark of the franchise, and that is okay. But director Gareth Edwards directs this lone shot with such finesse and passion, with a level of anger and thrills that The Force Awakens fumbled so poorly with. It may be a scene that is purely fan service, but call me a fan, as it was the movie's best moment. Its rosy glow and vermilion beam was a familiar, but welcome one.
Oh, almost forgot; remember Tarkin from earlier? He was played by Peter Cushing in the original, and here is a uncanny valley recreation of the veteran actor. His face is all done by computers, of course, but things just do not look right. In the original he stared with a stony glaze, but here, his glaze would be better suited for a CGI doughnut.