Star Trek: Section 31 Review

I have never consumed a single piece of Star Trek, being more of a Star Wars fan, which makes the newest movie, "Star Trek: Section 31," all the more fascinating to watch; I should have had no idea what was going on, and I didn't, but its fast-pace, good cast, delicious overacting and even better special effects piqued my interest just enough to begin considering binging the media property in earnest. Or maybe I'll just wait for the sequel.

Michelle Yeoh stars as Philippa Georgiou, a name I most certainly had to Google, a sort of gangster who runs a totally legit club somewhere outside Federation space, or so the interest tells me. She's introduced during a flashback, where we see her (played by Miku Martineau as a kid) seemingly returning home from, er, something. Oh that's right, it's a sort of trial to see who'll become the next emperor, and she's got just one final test. What's the test? Oh nothing, just to kill her parents and younger brother (all within the first five minutes of runtime) before her competition San (played as a kid by James Huang and James Hiroyuki Liao as adult). She does, he doesn't, and she's crowned emperor, with San to forever serve as her servant. Talk about a cutthroat competition.

Anyway, Georgiou, having now assumed the name Madame Veronique du Franc (thanks interwebs), is soon approached by Alok (Omari Hardwick) and his team about stopping Dada Noe (Joe Pingue), who's selling a very dangerous weapon. The Godsend in fact, a weapon Georgiou herself had developed and later ordered destroyed. Of course, we wouldn't have much of a movie if it was actually destroyed, or if things went smoothly, so of course the Godsend is stolen, and then a lot more plot happens. In fact, there's probably about 25% too much plotting and 25% too little action plot, with a double-cross, few red herrings, a sabotage or two, all for what amounts to a pretty basic narrative. Still, there's enough good world-building, sets and creatures to keep any scifi fiend amused.  

But you wouldn't know the ultimately decent film this becomes at the start, with director Olatunde Osunsanmi filling the beginning with so much slow-motion that you'd think this hailed from Zack Snyder, including, but not limited to, slow-motion running, hugging, affectionately gazing, ladle pouring, laughing, eating, and oh yes, dying. It was so bad that I began questioning my decision to hit "play" on Paramount+, but I persevered, just for you- we believe in full-service film criticism around here.

He does go on to stage the action competently, so you more-or-less have a clear idea who is throwing which punch or shooting which gun, but then he decides to get all cute and constantly fuddles with the camera while people are talking, walking, or any other basic activity. Swooping left or right, up or down, gliding in all directions so we never get a sense of the environment the heroes, or villains, are in. It's disorientating and completely unnecessary, and feels like a really nerdy, two-hour long music video without, you know, music.

But it's fine. I was surprised at how much I was engaged with "Star Trek: Section 31," as if all the problems made the whole thing more intriguing. I would feel ripped off had I driven to an actual theater and spent actual money on a ticket, all while munching on overpriced candy, but watching from the comfort of my own couch with reasonably priced Junior Mints in hand, it's not bad.

Back in Action Review

The casting of Jamie Foxx, and Cameron Diaz especially, go a long way in keeping Netflix's next franchise wannabe "Back in Action" from being a complete dud; but a pair of effervescent leads can only keep it firmly afloat in "disposable" territory. And that's OK, if it's mid-January, too chilly to go outside and contribute anything to society.

Diaz and Foxx play Emily and Matt, who would look like any other suburban parents had the film not opened to an extended chase over its MacGuffin, a key that can control all sorts of electrical things. Like any James Bond entry, they first infiltrate a terrorist party, escape to a plane only for it to crash, the device seemingly lost in the snowy mountainside. Only it's not nearly as exciting or innovative.

But look at me, I'm getting ahead of myself- that scene was, like, fifteen years ago, and the couple now have two kids, watch HGTV, coach soccer and drive a minivan. Emily pines for her daughter's affection (McKenna Roberts), a fourteen year old who the two catch, alcohol in hand, at some 18 years and over club, and in a moment of blind rage, the former spies take out the creepy men who were pawing over their underage daughter. A bystander and their phone was all it takes for their old enemies, and allies, to track their whereabouts, all looking for this "key," so the family leave the states for London.

Why London? So we can force in an extended cameo by Glenn Close, as Emily's mother Ginny, but no, I swear there's a narrative reason for this outside the "globe-trotting" requisites made genre canon by Eon's adaptations of Ian Fleming's famous operative. See, the bad guys (and good guys) all think our heroes have the device, and, spoiler alert, they do. Or at least did, Matt having hid it at his mother-in-laws before she was legally related to him, unbeknownst to anyone else. 

The rest is your usual action movie stuff, with double-crosses, red herrings and plenty of PG-13 violence. But so what? Just because you have some explosions, gunplay and fights doesn't mean you have an action movie worth seeing. Director Seth Gordon, who also co-wrote it alongside Brendan O'Brien, competently enough films the fisticuffs, things only occasionally looking like janky green screen, but it's all so mindless and meandering. Not bad, just without reason outside the trappings of billing itself an "action spy comedy."

As for the comedy, things fare better, no doubt elevated by Diaz and Foxx's natural comedic timing; the script has a few truly funny scenes, but they're throwaway bits independent from the gobbledygook espionage business. And I can't help but wonder how much male writer/directors know about a mother/daughters relationships, but maybe I'm reading too much into things.

But the best thing here is the return of Cameron Diaz; it's so good to see her back, er, in action, and she has such genuine chemistry with Foxx that you wish this was some silly comedy about former spies, not an action spy movie with some comedy.

Den of Thieves 2: Pantera Review

The first "Den of Thieves" escaped me back when it was first released in 2018; only once it inevitably hit Netflix years later did I see it. And it was alright, but I couldn't really tell you what happened; in fact, star Gerard Butler was all I could remember. Well, seven years later comes the sequel, subtitled "Pantera," for some reason, and it is equally forgettable. I certainly enjoyed my time on my local theater's crappy, antiquated cloth seats, but here I am, mere hours later, only really able to recall that, again, Gerard Butler stars.

Writer/director Christian Gudegast collects all the usual ingredients, with exotic locations (such as Nice, France), alcohol, tobacco, fast cars, big guns and women with even, eh let's not finish that thought. Gerard returns as, checks internet, Nick, a gruff, chain-smoking LA detective who, still burnt from the events of the first film, is obsessed with finding Donnie (O'Shea Jackson Jr.). 

Can't remember what happened in the last one? Neither did I! Thankfully, this pedestrian film reminds us of what happened during its equally pedestrian predecessor: Donnie was able to rob the Federal Reserve without any money showing up as missing. It takes Nick about halfway through the sequel for him to figure out the events of the first one!

Anyway, is chase leads him to Europe, where Donnie meets up with Jovanna (Evin Ahmad), the leader of a group of thieves who are planning their next hit: diamonds.

Nick smokes and drinks his way to Donnie, telling him that he wants "in" on the mission, or else he takes him into custody. But there's a catch, to get into diamond exchange (you know, to learn the ins-and-outs of the building), he needs diamonds, and whoopsie, Donnie robbed them from the mafia. But whatever, it's hardly a plot point until it is. (And then it isn't, then it is, etc.) The narrative is unexciting, overly complex and, quite simply, silly.

What I liked about "Den of Thieves 2: Pantera" is how the caper is done, the preparation, setup, execution and, yes, the few bumps that always happen here (some pesky employee always unknowingly enters a room the crooks didn't expect). These scenes are tense, filled with class and style by Gudegast; the few shootouts and vehicle chases are equally well done. But as a writer, he fails to give us people to root for- his script is populated personalities, not people.