Spider-Man: Homecoming Review

Six credited screenwriters (six!) wrote the new Spider-Man movie, subtitled "Homecoming." What he is coming home to is beyond me (although he does enter his aunt's house a few times). Perhaps it was the school dance? It doesn't have much to do with the main plot (I mean, this is a superhero film), but then again, maybe I missed something (I mean, it is the subtitle). Maybe a seventh screenwriter was needed. But in the flood of superhero movies the past two decades, this is the second reboot, with Tom Holland taking over the role from Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield, with Tom having previously "guest-starring" in last year's Captain America movie.

But I saw that movie (obviously, I just linked my review), and I saw this movie (obviously, I am writing this review), yet I couldn't tell you how Peter Parker got his super powers. I know, a spider bite, but when did that happen? It didn't happen in "Spider-Man: Homecoming," but why not? Isn't this a reboot? If they are not going to show his entire beginning here, what's the point of showing any of his start? This is the sixth goddamn movie, do you think I care about the uprising of Spider-Man??

The screenplay suffers from the surplus of screenwriters, with at least one scene beginning in the dark of night ends up being bright and sunny by the end of it. At one point Spider-Man runs out of "web" stuff, but then, next shot, is firing webs. Too many conversations consist purely of pithy exchanges that sound good in TV commercials. And worst of all, well, actually, let me interject: the following is a slight spoiler so, read at your own risk. When Spider-Man climatically pulls Vulture from the wreckage of the film's big battle, the film pretends as if the good-guy has saved the bad-guy from something. But nothing happens. The rubble didn't explode, Vulture was in no danger under the debris. Why did Spiderman bother pulling him out? So he could trap him in a web of webs until the cops showed up? Wouldn't have the rubble have kept him in place? I'll tell you why, so we see our hero carrying his nemesis in slow motion.

End spoiler.

The plot is inconsequential- the stakes are a bit smaller here, but I'll do my job- I mean my best: Spiderman (pardon the spelling, I will be typing those words so many times this review that ignoring the hyphen will save me hours) tries to become more than "just a neighborhood Spiderman" and stop Vulture (Michael Keaton) from stealing alien materials (left behind from previous Marvel movies), repurpose them as weapons to sell on the black market. Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man (a.k.a. Robert Downey Jr.) goes in and out of scenes half-soused, giving false parental guidance to the titular hero, whose only other adult in his life is his aunt May (played by the charming but superfluous Marisa Tomei). The main storyline is threaded by Mr. Spider's teenage angst, with a crush, a bully, a fat friend, a mystery loner girl- the usual stuff screenwriters (or at least the six credited here) think actually happens in high school; it is as if they never went to high school themselves and had only seen "The Breakfast Club."

I am all OK with the risks here being smaller- the world isn't in danger (only, really, Queens NY is), but director Jon Watts, whose sophomore effort "Cop Car" was a tight little thriller, leveled by a strong cast and witty script, sort of buckles under all the CGI weight. His smaller-scaled scenes of conflict (such as an early ATM robbery) are well shot and edited, but a late scene in a cloaking jet was hard to follow, with the camera whipping in one direction and bodies flying in the other.

Holland gives Peter Parker/Spiderman a slightly whiny persona, a needy complainer who always wants what he can't have yet (honestly, I'm surprised he turned down alcohol later in the film). And although I am not convinced this is the perfect depiction of the web-slinging teen, but I can commend him for the lack of smugness; this is the first Marvel movie in a long time where the hero wasn't a cocky jerk. Here, he stumbles with his powers, letting bad-guys get away and missing web shots. It doesn't completely work here, but it is a breath of fresh air.

But the star here is Michael Keaton as Vulture, who turns to illegal weapon trade when his salvage company belly-ups when his contract to clean up the Avengers' mess is abruptly ended when Tony Stark takes over. That's it. No gods this time, no magic weapons, nothing obviously "supervillain," and his story, and particularly his performance, made me wish the film was called "Vulture: Homecoming" instead. It isn't that his character is anything unique; he flies in a mech suit (*cough Iron Man *cough), but every time he is on screen, I forgot about little teenaged Spiderman. I guess it is that I just don't understand Spiderman an his powers- I get that Peter needs his latex underwear for some of his powers, but if he can't shoot webs from his wrists, what powers does he have? Super strength and can ascend walls? That isn't overtly spider-like. Why even bother with the webs if he needs attire to fire them? Could he have picked other abilities- why did he settle on a spider? (Perhaps he was getting over arachnophobia.)