On a certain level, "Godzilla" movies are invulnerable to western audiences reactions: they are a Japanese product, even when they involve the completely American King Kong. Oh sure, we love our creature features here in the states, but even when a familiar face or production company crops up in one of several Hollywood takes on the famous kaiju, it isn't really for us. (Save for 1998's TriStar "Godzilla," but then again it wasn't really "for anyone," except for those who like when movies go "boom" real good.) Anyone with internet access can see that the last few installments, the ones in Legendary's "MonsterVerse," have made a bulk of their box office returns from international territories. We are simply window dressing for the real audience: everyone else in the world.
Fortunately, that hasn't kept the franchise from the American eye for the past decade-plus, and debuting day and date with theaters, HBO Max showcases the latest installment, "Godzilla vs. Kong." A gloriously dumb film that doesn't shortchange what it promises: two monsters fighting each other. Well, I mean there are human characters, but they're about as interesting as an instruction manual. They do the same stupid things anyone has ever done in a previous Godzilla or Kong movie, exclaim inert dialogue and convey about as much emotion as the CGI titans they're fighting for or against.
To dissect the plot would be pointless, as every moment is designed to set up the next bash between the title duo. It would also be a disservice to you the reader- be honest with yourself, do you really "care" why the two battle it out? If the narrative involved Godzilla burning his lip on some tea Kong prepared and he got all pissy, it would still rack in millions. Enough to recoup its outrageous budget? I doubt it, but you get the point.
All you need to know is that, in the span of less than two hours, we infuriate secret corporate laboratories, travel to the center of the Earth, zip in subterranean train cars from Florida to Hong Kong, resurrect a fan-favorite, save the day, and still find time for a throwaway joke about underage drinking.
It's instead more interesting to point out all the silly moments, like when it's revealed early on that Kong can read sign language; how did a team of scientists studying him not notice? How many words does he know? How does he know the word "enemy" or "Godzilla" if he's been taught by the little girl Jia (Kaylee Hottle) in a secret fake jungle? How can he see the tiny child when he's so tall? At what point did the filmmakers realize that the idea was ridiculous and decide against giving Kong a voice synthesizer ala Amy in Michael Crichton's "Congo?"
Outside of all the monster mayhem, the most interesting bits are when we're at the core of the Earth, "Hollow Earth" in the film, where we find all sorts of smaller creatures living about their days amongst the namesake behemoths. This gives us our first honest look at life other than titans or humans in this so-called "MonsterVerse," and I stood off of the couch wishing we got more of these scenes. The fictional animal kingdom, where we can observe the food chain, their day-to-day lives outside of the hypothetical boxing ring, could go a long way in giving us a new reason to care about what's onscreen. Alas that's not what we get, but maybe next time!
A franchise about computer-generated giants duking it out can only sustain itself for so long, unless they come up with new ways for them to fight. In "Godzilla vs. Kong," in tradition to its legacy, throw punches at night in a neon-lit cityscape. Is it original? Absolutely not. Is it entertaining? You better believe it. This is not high-class filmmaking, but it is mass audience popcorn, supersized, salted and with extra-butter.
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