A Merry Little Ex-Mas Review

Netflix's "A Merry Little Ex-Mas" has a Hollywood cast (including Alicia Silverstone) and director (veteran Steve Carr), but the heart of a disposable Hallmark Christmas rom-com. Its script by Holly Hester, who's credits include writing two other similar pictures, is unable to comfortably balance honest sentimentality with genre obviousness, leaves you shouting at the screen "just kiss already" as it strings you along with scene after scene of awkward nothingness before reaching its conventional conclusion.

Silverstone stars as Kate, the local handyperson in the idyllic little town of, get this, Winterlight, who gave up her career ambitions as in green architecture or, something, once she met Everett (Oliver Hudson), a doctor. She followed him to this totally-believably named town and began a family. But as the movie starts, they two are in the middle of getting a divorce. Or as the film calls "conscious uncoupling," har he har har. The two, however, are remarkably amicable to one another, even planning to celebrate the Christmas traditions they practiced when together. What could possibly go wrong?

See, Everett has a girlfriend Kate doesn't know about (the younger Tess, played by Jameela Jamil), but Kate has her own secret: she's going to sell the house, move out and return to work. Seriously, she got her old job back- in this economy?

But while she somehow keeps this secret for much of the runtime, Everett's little secret slips out once she meets her daughter Sienna's (Emily Hall) new boyfriend Nigel. He's annoying played by Timothy Innes, the character obsessed with Harry Potter only because I think because the movie thinks they look alike.

Anyway, Kate is surprised and hurt by the revelation, but instead of dealing with her feelings like a responsible adult, she strings alone Chet, played with all the brains of a chestnut roasting by an open fire by Pierson Fodé. They meet at a tree farm (like, five days before Christmas), but since he's "Chet, a man of many hats," he's also a nanny, snowplow driver and male exotic dancer. He's not exactly funny, but what he'll say or do next was the only unexpected thing about the whole production.

Melissa Joan Hart is here too, playing Kate's friend and godmother to her two kids, but she's given nothing to do except a producers credit and to gawk at Chet's arm muscles.

To the film's credit, Silverstone and Hudson do have chemistry; so does Silverstone and Fodé. As does Hart and Fodé. Really the casting is spot on and they all do seem to be having genuine fun, and in its own strange way, is kinda nice to see it all unfold. Except for Nigel, what even is that character?

"A Merry Little Ex-Mas" isn't the worst holiday movie I've ever seen, that would probably be last year's large lump of coal "Dear Santa," but considering the relative talent involved, it is a frustratingly lazy one.

Oh, and I should mention the sexy gingerbread house making, which is a sentence as uncomfortable to type as it was to watch.