Any film headlined by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck should be a lot fresher, wittier and exciting than it is in Netflix's "The Rip." A new crime thriller about dirty cops and a big ol' pile of the cartel's cash, writer/director Joe Carnahan populates the picture with too many red herrings, too much intentionally confusing dialog and not enough action or suspense to make it all work. It's about as boring as Afflect looks here and in those memes I sometimes see of him on the interwebs.
The famous duo star as lieutenant Dane and sergeant J.D., under investigation when their police captain is killed in the opening scene. We see her gunned down by two assailants in the movie's opening, their faces obscured by the night and masks, her just barely getting out a mysterious text before they take the final shot. Her small team is grilled by FBI agents, one of which is J.D.'s brother, who exchange expletives as well as fists. The sibling is played by action veteran Scott Adkins, who's wasted here with about two scenes and handful of perfunctory lines; he deserves more and it's high-time Hollywood realizes.
Right after everyone's shift, Dane announces he got a crimestopper tip on some illegal dough stashed away in some house, and the group heads off for some unpaid overtime. (Where's the union when you need one?) In a messy house smack-dab in the middle of a cul-de-sac, where the entire neighborhood seems abandoned. They trick resident Desi (Sasha Calle) into letting the team in under the guise of looking for drugs, which she claims there aren't any. Well, aside from marijuana, but hey, it's 2026, who cares about the devil's lettuce?
Once inside, sure-to-be-star Wilbur the Money Dog (played by, you guessed it, Wilbur The Dog), soon sniffs something out in the attic. Desi continues to claim she doesn't have any narcotics, until she realizes he's tracking moolah. Dane says the tip was only for a few hundred thousand bucks, but what they find is something just north of twenty million. Something isn't adding up. That or someone is as bad at math as I was in grade school (the age the filmmakers are clearly is aiming for).
Things escalate when Dane isn't following protocol and ignoring J.D.'s concerns. Who is not who they say they are? Why do some local badges show up, and why does J.D. recognize one? The film asks a million questions, answering them with more vagaries until the very end when the key players are in an armored truck. Problem is, the scenarios are so standard, and the resolutions so routine.
"The Rip" contains far fewer fisticuffs and gunplay than its trailer would suggest- the camera shrouding everything in a noir-esque shadow, giving the folks at home watching reason to suspect everyone. But films about bent police officers, double crosses and a butt-load of cash are a dime-a-dozen, and this is ultimately just a glossy, not to mention expensive, regurgitation of cliches and stereotypes.
But I am a pushover for material like this! I should be able to look over a flaw or two, but Carnahan seemingly is unable, or uninterested, in challenging either the genre or its audience with anything truly inspired. You'd think a cast featuring no fewer than two other acclaimed writer/directors would have known better.
What's even more strange, while the man behind the camerea does know how to make a truly great shot (a garage shootout with bright green lights is a particular highlight), he can't seem to keep himself from getting all cute with technique and style. The climax, which I won't spoil, is so poorly shot with too much darkness and edited with too many cuts that I could only tell who was punching who because I've seen other films.
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