Saturday, December 12, 2020

The Christmas Setup Review


"The Christmas Setup" features humans in front of a camera reading lines, which by definition, makes it a movie. But only just barely.

Debuting on the television station Lifetime, it is notable only for being their first Christmas movie where the romantic leads are gay. TV has come a long way, but not the films released there. With a pandering narrative, clumsy performances, and low-stakes plot, this is everything we have come to expect from the medium, so grab a bag of popcorn and a blanket, and prepare to fall asleep.

It's the kind of picture where extras in the background pretend to sip from their coffee, only their lips are clearly not touching the cup. The type where you notice that a character is wearing the same pants the next "day." The sort where characters use a twenty dollar bill for a single mug of hot chocolate. Obviously, the budget went to acquiring all those Christmas decorations and fake snow.

Ben Lewis plays Hugo, a big-shot lawyer in NY who heads to his home town for the holidays, only to- gasp, bump into his high school crush. The flannel hunk of man-meat Patrick, played by Lewis' real life husband Blake Lee, and their existing relationship goes a long way in helping elevate the greeting-card material into something that is almost charming. The entire production fails their chemistry, but there's chemistry nonetheless.

Hugo's mother Kate is played by the always wonderful Fran Drescher, who's voice is just as nasally and debatably annoying as everyone remembers, but her professionalism is the rock to the shaky movie-making foundation. She dominates every scene she's in, and she's fortunately got quite a lot of screen time, adding a certain level of goofy class that this is so otherwise lacking in. Problem is, her dopey radiance even distracts from the fact that her fictional son is dating another man in a network first.

So aside from falling head-over-heals in television-PG love, Hugo and friends need to save the town's old train station. On top of that, his brother Aiden, played by Chad Connell, suddenly comes home as well, and begins propositioning Hugo's city friend Madelyn, played by Ellen Wong. And on top of that, he just got a promotion at work requiring him to move to London. Will Hugo and Patrick stay together? Will the historic landmark survive? And how will Madelyn and Aiden, and Hugo and Patrick, make it work long-distance?

There's so much going on! And yet, there isn't a moment that makes you care about any of it. The script defines each character as a caricature and provides zero chance for growth. The actors show up, read they lines, and pretend to look like they're having fun. Once or twice, they look like the honestly are. Other times, you can just picture the director waving their paychecks just off-camera.

Fran Drescher's presence gives this half of its one-star rating. The other half is the channel finally giving the LGBT community the feature-length recognition they deserve. The missing three stars are for being a piece of manufactured rubbish.

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