Breach Review

"Breach" is a cheapo science-fiction movie, it's as simple as that. It's something that wouldn't look out of place debuting on the SyFy channel, and for most of it's short hour and thirty something minute runtime, I was on board. Not there was anything original to be seen, heard, or even suggested, but as a lazy midday rental, you get what you paid for, and more.

The "more" comes from the involvement of Bruce Willis, who really isn't the main character, playing a drunk janitor named Clay, but he's in most shots, and his trademark smirk and lethargy to the situation puts the film's tongue firmly in cheek. He never goes as far as "winking" to the camera, the way a lot of these disposable monster movies go for (I'm looking at you, the six-something "Sharknado" flicks), but this secondary tone gives the picture something most discount creature features can't seem to achieve: a sense of fun.

He expectedly yells in quips, in between swigs from his flask, and although they are far (and I mean far) from that pithy quality he's famous for, they're not bad. In his character's final shot, he goes full John McClane, complete with frantic head bobbing while talking to himself about the unwinnable position he's in. It's great stuff, if only to remind you of his better works.

Not to say the one-time action star puts his heart into the role, but he seems to be enjoying himself, the same way other expired heavy-hitters like Gary Busey or Nicolas Cage do. Willis is far more restrained (or less interested) than either of those two bonkers actors are famous for, but standing on murky sets, filled with fog, dull colored lights, and a mutilated body covered in blood, his grin brightens the mood.

It's something, at least, it's something! Because "Breach," previously known as "Anti Life" (a name that remains at end of the credits), is otherwise completely average (and frequently below average). It's something the dork at Blockbuster would recommend as an alternative when they've run out of copies of "Alien." Scene for scene, you know what to expect, save for the ending, where either the script ran out of creative juice, or the producers ran out of money, because it's incoherent and vague. 

To describe the plot would be to plagiarize the synopsis of other movies, but my job as film critic demands it. Whoever said reviewing movies isn't hard work has never tried writing.

*cue announcer voice 

"In the future, Earth has become inhabitable. Fleets of spaceships head out to "New Earth," with lucky passengers hopeful to rebuild society. But when a parasite is let loose on the ship, it begins to take control of its human hosts, and it's up to the surviving crew to save the world."

Phew. What an uninspired mouthful! But I promise things are better than that suggests. It's thanks largely to the aforementioned veteran cast member, as well as a cameo by Thomas Jane as the Admiral and an adequate supporting cast (and actual lead actor, Cody Kearsley as Noah) But director John Suits and his team deserve some recognition for their ability to create a faint sense of claustrophobia and atmosphere on the obviously minimal financial allowances. The monster, which only appears in-full towards the end, is laughably cheesy, but Suits works smartly around this by having those "infected" by the creature represented as zombies. Zombies are an economical cinema villain, because anyone with a gift-card to the local costume shop can make one (or many, if you have enough on that gift-card).

This is where things get tricky. "Breach" is clearly bankrupt of its own ideas and on actual budget, and teeters on the edge of being "bad." Why is that, just because it's derivative? Because of its bargain-bin production values? Those are qualities that are equal part important and unimportant to the art of filmmaking. More important questions: was I ever bored? Not really. Did I have a good time? Well I didn't have a "bad" time.

What am I supposed to do? Two stars is the default rating, so let's go with that. 

Disclaimer: this rating depends on how much you appreciate junk, and how much you appreciate seeing a decent performance from Bruce Willis emerging from said junk.