Halloween Kills Review

While watching "Halloween Kills," the sequel to 2018's solid "Halloween" reboot/sequel/remake/whatever, it's obvious there's another one on the way. That's the case of course, since it's been announced, so what we're left with is the awkward middle child of the trilogy. Where as the first film was a taunt little thriller, the second is poorly staged, hammily acted, overwritten and generally boring, with absolutely nothing to say except to showcase the special effects department's gory killings.

There is this clunky tone throughout it, unable to be either scary or funny, so the blood-soaked images just sit there, and there are a lot of them. The 1978 original is rather well known for its absence of actual onscreen violence, something thrown away for most of the sequels, but "Halloween Kills" is another beast entirely, resembling those Rob Zombie remakes nobody talks about more so than anything in John Carpenter's original.

The plot is just an excuse for Michael Myers to show up and slice up dozens of random people, the random old couple down the block to folks in the angry mob set up by Tommy Doyle (Anthony Michael Hall), who was one of the babysat kids in the franchise's first entry. Why the hell is Doyle (or Mr. Hall, for that matter) even here is beyond me; there is this weird obsession with retconning "Halloween Kills" with the previous pictures, so far as resurrecting Donald Pleasence as Dr. Loomis with fancy special effects in an unexpected flashback scene. It's great to see the late veteran actor back in the series he gave so much thematic weight to, but for what? It spits on his grave to see him brought back for this trash.

Jamie Lee Curtis is here too, once again playing Laurie Strode, who's stuck in Haddonfield Hospital after stab wounds in the climax of the first film. (First as in the first in the sequel trilogy, not the first film. Gosh why is a slasher flick so complicated!?) She's in the thankless position of spending her screen time going from the gurney to the lobby, spouting gibberish like "evil never dies" and all that nonsense. It's the same old hat that we've heard for the last forty plus years, and frankly I'm sick of it.

As for the actual kills in the title, they're nasty for sure, including one where you literally see the eyeballs pop out of some poor schmuck's head, but aside from having no point except to exploit the act of cruelty, there is a curious lack of tension. The shape just wanders around, and there is no build up or suspense to when he will or will not jump out and yell "boo" with his knife. No one scene filled me with dread, not one performance made me think that they weren't just some actor reading a script, and most unfortunate of all, not once did I get filled with terror.

Character still do dumb things like split up to investigate the murder's childhood home, walk away from a seemingly "dead" Myers (twice!); sure, it's a horror movie, but this should have been a smart horror movie.

"Halloween Kills" gets so bogged down with its own mythology that you just end up playing "spot the reference." Angry mob like in 1988's Halloween 4? Check. Laurie in the hospital ala 1981's Halloween 2? Check. The list goes on, on and on, and the more I saw the more I realized they weren't just cute little callbacks but filmmakers straight up out of new ideas.