Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Review

"Beetlejuice Beetlejuice" lacks any reason for being outside making money. Sure, it's amusing to see one's favorite characters portrayed by the same actors as in the 1988 original, but so what? If you're fan, just, I dunno, watch the first one again. And if that doesn't do it, well then neither will the sequel.

Or maybe it will- the rather empty theater I saw this in had a small crowd who laughed at every gag as if they were paid to chortle, and when the credits rolled around, I half-expected them to give it a standing ovation. They didn't, but they certainly enjoyed it, but on what grounds?

I thought about this as I drove home from the cinema, but I couldn't place what they loved so much. Maybe there are folks out there who think watching a teen romance between Astrid (Jenna Ortega) and mysterious local boy Jeremy (Arthur Conti) is not cringy and forced? Or maybe they felt her mom Lydia (a returning Winona Ryder) hosting a show about ghosts wasn't totally out-of-character?

The story is way too complicated here, but lemme try to explain it in as simple terms as I can: Lydia's father has died (by a shark attack, no less), so she takes Astrid and her mother Delia (Catherine O'Hara) back to the home of the first film to have a funeral. His body is lowered to the earth with a child choir singing "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)," which probably played well in commercials, but it is only one of probably over a dozen different nostalgic-fueled moments that serve as winks at the audience. If you read the script, it probably says "hey, remember this" a bunch of times.

Anyway, at the same time Betelgeuse's (Michael Keaton) ex-wife Delores (Monica Bellucci) is resurrected accidentally by an awkward cameo of Danny Devito, who we later learn only married him because she was the leader of some cult. She poisoned him on their wedding night, but before he died, he killed her with an ax, so now that she's back, she wants revenge. Detective Wolf (Willem Dafoe) warns him that she'll suck his soul out of his body, leaving him "dead dead," and advises him to lay low. A life-of-the-party like him lay low? Please!

But back to the mortals: Astrid ends up meeting Jeremy, and the two have an immediate attraction, they even kiss, on Halloween night I might add. But there's a problem, one which I won't spoil, but it does demand Lydia say that frightful word three times, ask for help to illegally get her into the afterlife, sign a contract, and, well, that's about it. And that's ignoring all the side-stories, which involve shady producers, totally-not-dangerous snakes and real estate agents dressing their kids as fruit.

Of course, it's just an excuse for a lot of wild sets, sight gags and lots of visual effects, some looking practical and others distractingly digital, but a lot are just repeats of the first "Beetlejuice," from the desert sandworms to the famous red-roofed bridge. The entire production feels like a "greatest hits" of the franchise, which sucks since it's only the second movie.

Out of the principal cast, only Keaton seems to know how stay afloat amongst all the special effects, carefully balancing actual acting and comedic shtick perfectly. He's so good you wish it was just about his many misadventures, but maybe the studio or writers or director Tim Burton himself felt that couldn't support an entire movie. But then give me a story I should give a damn about! Ortega only mopes around, O'Hara overreacts and Ryder just stands around looking confused, as if she doesn't understand the story either.

Take, for instance, when at one point Wolf points a gun at Betelgeuse, since he's a wanted man, what good is that supposed to do? Isn't he already dead? Or how Wolf plans to try him once he's under custody; just what does the criminal justice system look like in the "afterlife?" (Would he get the "life" penalty?)

The film ultimately is a mixed bag, working only when Burton ignores the story for a moment and embraces the inherent silliness of the entire concept, the best part easily being a wedding where the main cast lip-sings to, of all songs, MacArthur Park. He has a sense of humor to his visuals that immediately falls apart when it's bogged down in plot, because with plot you begin to introduce logic, and he is a filmmaker who defies it.