Resident Evil Review

The world probably doesn't need another "Resident Evil" film reboot, but at least this time they got the plotting right. Director Zach Cregger (who also wrote the script with Shay Hatten) doesn't bother adapting any of the video games, instead focusing on a simple "what if." Considering the franchise's plot is so outrageously wack, even to its biggest fans, that's probably for the best.

The story follows Bryan, an unambitious medical courier who takes a last-minute job. It pays double because of how far away he has to go- he has to go all the way to Racoon City. He wants the money, even if it means he'll be home late, where his pregnant girlfriend wants "to talk" about what to do with the baby. I imagine he hopes if he's out long enough she'll fall asleep and they can just talk tomorrow; Bryan is not the kind of guy who thinks that far ahead.

In his illequipped Subaru, Bryan struggles to keep a good pace on the icy roads, his girlfriend mad that he is still not home and has bad reception. If you're wondering just what the heck this has to do with "Resident Evil," don't worry, because the filmmakers are wisely getting the setup out of the way so they can highlight the mayhem to come. He accidentally runs over a woman who stumbled into the street, and as it turns out, our poor protagonist does not exactly handle emergencies well. And that's putting it mildly.

He finds her off on the side of the road, bleeding and paralyzed. He figures he'll drop her off at the hospital since that's his destination, ultimately, especially since he can't get ahold of the police. What luck then, it is that one pulls him over for swerving recklessly. The cop's radio is down as well, so he takes the girl and escorts him to the hospital. Or so that's the plan.

Things do not go as planned. In fact, they almost immediately hit the fan. Soon after some more plot, Bryan's attacked by the woman, a dog with a surprise its own, then another person, who end up combining with the other into a grotesque, somersaulting mass of fleshy disgust. It chases him through a tunnel and into the mammal-inspired town, getting bit himself in the process. I wouldn't worry, I'm sure it's just a flesh wound.

Things just keep growing more and more out-of-hand once Bryan enters the city, too. Attacking rats, zombies jumping off of rooftops, even evil babies! The man just can't catch a break. And it's in this narrative simplicity that "Resident Evil" succeeds. Expected scenes filled with flat characters and forced dialog are replaced by dark corners, dimly lit sewers and pulsating blobs of bloody bodies. Dariusz Wolski's cinematography is a gift, and Cregger exploits it to its fullest effect.

Bryan is played by Austin Abrams, who gives a wonderfully interesting and askew performance. He's cowardly, insecure and awkward, lacking tact and force in pretty much every of the many situations he stumbles headfirst into. It's fun to watch someone constantly and consistently be in over their head; he never develops the confidence lesser scripts often suddenly give their heroes, and Abrams is charming in his own, offbeat way that the sometimes imbecilic decisions he makes don't distract.

It's not perfect, however. The men behind the camera wanted to finish with an unexpected, somber twist, but it disrespects the relationship I built up with Bryan through his journey through literal hell. He deserves better, and so do audiences.

The Runner Review

"The Runner," which came out this weekend, is unrelated to "Runner, which comes out next weekend. Both are action thrillers, but only the former has Gal Gadot in yoga pants doing a lot of running. So if sweat-drenched workout clothes are your thing, then I'm not sure I'm comfortable with my site being in your browser history alongside whatever else you look at. You sicky.

Gadot stars as Maia, a successful laywer who's latest client is about to link some big crime lord to a double-homicide of two young women. The trial date is today, and what better way to prepare then to go on a run. After dropping her diabetic son off at school, she has hardly broken a sweat when she gets a call from his phone. But it's not her offspring on the other end, but a mysterious man. She naturally doesn't believe him, until she hears her son say this nice unknown man is going to take him out for ice cream. Someone clearly hasn't ever seen an episode of Unsolved Mysteries and it shows.

What does the caller want? He wants her to shoot her client, so that his employer can walk free. He gives her rules, like not talking to anyone, must travel by foot, but most pressing is a short one hour time limit, or else her son will die. Oh, violence against kids, is there anything more tasteless?

So she races off. It's a good few miles to the hotel where her client awaits the courts, and every single gimmick you can think of, so did writer Mark Gibson. Someone steals her phone, she gets hit by a car, she falls down, the works. She also breaks every rule she's given, though it mostly ends up as an excuse for her to run inside a train, and then on the train tracks. At one point, the caller tells her "rules are meant to be broken." Then why even bother with the rules in the first place?!

For a film Amazon Prime claims is an action thriller, there is very little action. Most of the runtime consists of Maia running in the crowded streets of London, while talking to the unknown man through her headphones. You would think some bystander would hear her conversation and contact the authorities, and the script's answer is to have every single person in the city glued to their phones. Well, except the homeless. And the cops. And children, oh and a priest, because the filmmakers decided we needed little detour in a church. Just what all films need.

I will say, the creative and relentless way things just keep happening to our heroine is amusing, and I did find myself wondering just what else they could possibly throw at her. Director Kevin Macdonald shows some flair by having us see Maia running from behind, then through a shop window, or from a distance, though the camera did seem to linger a bit too long on her backside at times. Then he gets in his own way by periodically showing Gadot's face in this awkward freeze-frame, and I'm sorry, but she simply isn't a strong enough actress to carry emotions, or scenes, by her mug alone. This is a woman whose only kid is being threatened, and she constantly stares ahead with the same level of wide-eye indifference.

But Macdonald is just as much to blame for the subpar acting, however. It is the director's job to make the film they want, and I honestly doubt "The Runner" ended up how anyone dreamt. Some of the more hectic moments are just clumsy, like unfinished CGI or shoddy bluescreen. One scene in particular, when our lead leaps out of the way of speeding train, grabbing onto a chain linked fense for safety. It should be thrilling, but it is so oddly filmed, acted and edited that I laughed loudly, and Amazon Prime most certainly didn't label this a comedy.

I can't be all that hard on Gadot though, as it's not like she's given much to work with. She plays a single working mom, and her case revolves around senseless violence towards women. Her backstory is even less savory: she shot her dad after he kept beating her mom. I get that these events are what made her into the heroic lead she is today, but why can't she just be heroic from the start? And don't get me started on the subplot concerning her lack of a social life. The caller man, who has hacked into her phone and computers, finds images (no doubt Photoshopped) of Wonder Woman herself half-naked, intended for a would-be lover. Maybe a male writer and director aren't the most knowledgeable when it comes to making a female-led film?