Scoob! Review

There is no reason for "Scoob!" to exist, except to make money milking the public's nostalgia for the classic Scooby-Doo. Only this is not your parents Scooby-Doo. It's not your childhood's Scooby-Doo. It's not even your kid's Scooby-Doo. This is a tired tale of friendship with Hanna-Barbera paint job; replace the familiar faces with any other group of archaic characters and you would have a film equally unsatisfying.

While COVID-19 is causing ruin to most everything, it will no doubt benefit Warner Bros. Pictures with their direct-to-streaming strategy here. The world didn't need another movie based on the popular canine (it didn't even need the others while we're at it), but with kids begging their parents for entertainment, this will probably make a lot of money. And for what? For bright colors to bounce to the beat of generic pop-songs to the tune of goodwill and keeping your promises? The message taught is so treacle and tedious, without wit or sense of fun.

The heavy-handedness to everything most egregious, as the picture comes to an absolute halt while feelings are hurt, emotions are shared, and relationships are patched up, during which time the visuals stop being fun to look at. The characters just stand around and exchange dialogue, like a CGI soap-opera without the inherent satire.

Acting as not only a reboot to Scooby-Doo but also to launch the, gulp, Hanna-Barbera shared cinematic universe, we follow the titular doggy (voiced by the omnipresent Frank Welker) meet his equally hungry pal Shaggy (a very out-of-place Will Forte), up to the formation of the gang's famed Mystery Inc. So far, about what you would expect, but things go off the rails as soon as the cast join up with the Blue Falcon (Mark Wahlberg, who sounds as if he's having fun at least) to take down the evil Dick Dastardly (Jason Isaacs). The turn to incorporate other properties means forgoing critical pillars to the Scooby-Doo franchise: the villain is a normal person, and there is no actual sleuthing.

To the movie's credit, the source material has never been the strongest, with characters whose personality boils down to a single description (Shaggy likes food, etc.,). I get it. But the film does nothing but stretch out already thin ideas into a feature film. Animation is not cheap; there are millions of dollars on display, and all we get is an afterschool special.

I'm probably wrong here. Kids will likely enjoy this, and fans certainly will bask in the bright colors with their sentimental-goggles pressed tightly against their face. Parents will simply want to know if it's appropriate for their kids, which it is. But film criticism is more than just that. How many stars should it get? Why does it matter? Why am I reviewing this? Why did I see this? Only to waste my time, and yours I guess. I'm sorry, but that's the way the Scooby Snack crumbles.