Mortal Kombat Review

CGI-enhanced people rip each other apart with all the fake blood and gore fans want. You wanted a review, there it is.

Of course we're talking about "Mortal Kombat," the third theatrical adaptation of the popular video games, which debuts on HBO Max and in cinemas. This is a sort of "meat and potatoes" movie that is best enjoyed on the biggest screen, but if you, like me, watched it on your home setup, then save yourself the costly fifteen buck a month subscription and just watch someone play the latest game on YouTube. Digital entertainment, including video games, have been getting better looking every year since, well, their inception, and unless you have a 4K setup with surround sound and all the fixings, well, any other recent "Mortal Kombat" media probably looks just as good on your average home TV. Hollywood has done very little to distinguish this from anything that can't be, or hasn't already been, done on your PlayStation or whatever, so please, let me ask this, why does this even exist?

To make money, of course! It doesn't bother much with expanding the familiar cast of characters, who snarl, growl, and beat each other into a pulp just like fans want. Now I'm not going to lie and say that I can tell you that Sonya Blade, played by Jessica McNamee, for example, was a member of the special forces in the games, but I'm trusting she is, because the movie told me that. Why would it lie to me?! I mention this because, the plot, doesn't really matter. Each, er, kombatant is introduced, their "special power" shown off (we even get to see some learn them), and they end up having as much backstory as an arcade flyer from the early nineties. Meaning, they have a gimmick, and you'd better hope that gimmick doesn't suck.

By gimmick, I mean a unique way to kill people. Jax (Mehcad Brooks) has robot arms, Sub-Zero (Joe Taslim) can summon ice, etc., etc. This makes for varied hand-to-hand combat, sword fights, the works. No two altercations are the same. It's great for short attention spans, but to the average viewer, you might want to, oh I dunno, know all their last names (we can't all be Miss Blade, if that is her real name). I'm sure the interwebs can tell you that, but remember, short attention spans.

Serving as a complete revamp of the movie series, "Mortal Kombat 2021" is a confusing prospect. It shares its name with the original 1995 film, the first and ninth game in the series (and I'm sure other various pieces of media), as well as the franchise overall. Existing fans already know all this- they'll probably have already pre-purchased their ticket months in advance. But what if they're describing this to their friends, someone not privy to the MK universe?

Fan: "Hey did you see "Mortal Kombat"?"
Pal 1: "Isn't that a game?"
Pal 2: "Wait I think I saw that in high school"
F: "No it's a "new" movie"
1: "So it's the sequel?"
2: "No the sequel came out in 1997"
F: "No no this is a complete reboot.... and.... blah... blah... blah..."

Hold on to your razor-sharp hat, I smell naming nomenclature confusion brewing.

Anyway. None of this matters. What matters is that for about two hours, we see people beat each other up. I'm sure if I saw this in a theater, diehard devotees would be cheering every time their favorite hero or villain made their appearance, said their favorite line or used their favorite move. Alas, I did not see it in theaters, and no one was cheering.

That doesn't mean I didn't like it. I appreciated it's authenticity to my cursory knowledge of the brand, how it didn't shy away from the bloodshed that made the games famous, and its relatively well-staged action. Where it stumbles is in its pacing, how it glosses over any backstory or nuance in favor of vague declarations of "the prophecy" and setting up the inevitable slew of sequels and spinoffs. This gets in the way of its one job, to showcase violent ways for people and creatures to meet their end.

The narrative involves a tournament between the Earth and Outworld, in essence, between the good and bad guys. We primarily follow Cole, played by Lewis Tan, an MMA fighter with a family. After meeting Jax, him and his kin are attacked by the wicked Sub-Zero. He drops off his wife and kid and meets up with Sonya, where him and the audience are given a brief exposition dump, learning the truth about the dragon tattoo on his chest. This means he has been chosen to fight in this "Mortal Kombat." More characters are introduced, fights happen intermittently, more story is dropped unceremoniously, rinse and repeat.

At one point Cole's daughter is in danger, about to be smushed at the (four)hands of the giant evil Goro. (She doesn't, fortunately.) It's never said how old she is, but I'm guessing she's still in school. Let's hope in this fake movie-world she's on April break, because  I can only imagine her telling the teacher she didn't do her homework because she was busy not getting killed by a four-armed monster from another realm. She'd probably get detention.