"Spencer Confidential" debuts on Netflix with a thud, a turgid comedic action thriller that debuts little laughs, action or thrills. It's about former cop Spencer (Mark Wahlberg) who gets back into his old police ways the day he's released from prison when his old corrupt captain is murdered- here's the kicker, when another cop is killed, he's labeled the killer of the first, then his own death marked a suicide. Yawn.
It's exactly the kind of thing that lined Blockbuster store shelves in the '80's and '90's, all with one or two recognizable names on the box (most likely Jean-Claude Van Damme or Chuck Norris), along with the promise of violence and sex. Here, well there's plenty of violence, but the little sex there is to be had here is played out comedically, and is equally not funny or sexy.
Yet, it's oddly watchable. It's far from good, mind you, but it zips from one lethargic set piece to the next, usually with bodies thrown around and plenty of convenient plot developments. What it lacks in logic and finesse it makes up for in misguided energy for manipulating every cliche there is. Don't think about what's on screen, just put in on in the background and watch every few moments; it'll hold your attention for a bit.
It's a fascinatingly incompetent picture, one that flops from stale jokes to unexciting physical encounters to brief flirtations of grim cop procedures, back to sloppy moments of jest. What happened here? I watched with distracted intimacy, not caring about what was going on but rather where things would go next.
So who's to blame here? That's equal parts who to blame for the badness and its watchability.
It can't be director Peter Berg, who stages the action with little imagination; bathroom brawl? Check. Prison punch out? Check. Beloved family kidnapped? Check. The only thing missing is a car chase, and even if they had one I'm sure they'd drive the speed limit.
Then could it be star Mark Wahlberg? He's got a decent comedic timing and can smirk on queue of any strained zinger the script has him toss. He looks convincing in the fight scenes, usually taking a beating before somehow coming out on top. But he lacks chemistry with his makeshift partner Hawk, played by Winston Duke (oh right, forgot there are a few buddy movie moments), as well as with his old flame Cissy (Iliza Shlesinger), who plays that stereotypical Boston native (complete with the phoney accent; she is from Texas you know).
So what gives? It's not the complete waste that the sum of its parts should be, but why? Maybe I'm looking for something more like the dumb/smart entertainment of "Bad Boys for Life" and less like failed exploitation of "The Rhythm Section?"
I don't recommend "Spencer Confidential," I can't recommend it. It wastes some decent talent in front and behind the camera, reducing everyone's efforts to another one of those grimey direct-to-video flicks that I would admire on rental store shelves. Perhaps it's the debut on Netflix that's helping me out. It's like they said "hey, it ain't great, so watch it here instead and save your ten bucks." Yeah that's got to be it. My popcorn tastes much better than that at the movies.
