Saturday, November 11, 2023

Sly Review

To make a documentary about Sylvester Stallone, honestly probably one of the most recognizable actors alive, and just spend the runtime patting himself on the back seems so, I dunno, disingenuous? I like Sly, I know the impact his "Rocky" and "Rambo" films have meant to cinema, even if they sometimes dip into pure commercialization, but the man is so much more than that. I mean, look at his filmography! He's acted in so many well-deserved bombs and probably even more unappreciated ones that seeing the actor star "soulfully" at all his boxing memorabilia is just so smarmy.

Oh sure, I mean yeah, he does spend some time talking about the infamous "Rocky V," but come on, how the hell did he get tricked into staring in 2018's "Backtrace?" (The "how" is probably more interesting than the movie itself.) Hell, we never even mention how he played the villain in "Spy Kids 3." Maybe he forgot? I didn't.

I said in my review of his latest theatrical film (one of those aforementioned "well-deserved bombs"), "The Expend4bles," and I quote, "I read online that the budget was something like 100 million dollars. Whatever house that bought Stallone must have been nice." And just a few months later in his own ego-stroking documentary, he's moving. I don't recall ever seeing his new house, but his old one certainly looked expensive. I also don't recall him ever saying he's modest.

If there is anything good about the documentary, the one area that feels "real," is the earnest look at his relationship with his father Frank Stallone Sr.. Sky portrays him as a violent man whom he probably hated, it helps show that the Italian Stallion actor is more than the meathead. It is almost heartbreaking to see how long he spent not-quite begging for his dad's approval and how that never really came, until he was on his deathbed and almost-but-not-really made amends. How did this all ultimately affect Sly? Well, he never road horses again. How emotional...

It is also peculiar how we only see infrequent interviews from a handful of others, from the obvious ones like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Talia Shire, to more surprising appearances like Henry Winkler, all they do is say things we already know. Yeah yeah I know, Sly and Arnie had a rivalry in the 80's: who could have the biggest guns, muscles and knives. But what about the troubled production of "Tango & Cash" or "Eye See You?" I'm sure someone who worked on those films could paint a very interesting picture.

I would say I'm the wrong audience for this documentary, since there was seldom a moment where I didn't think to myself "oh I already knew that," but as a fan of the actor himself, I'm of course the right audience. So who the hell is "Sky" for?

On a side note, Netflix also released a documentary earlier this year on Schwarzenegger, which was a three-part series. Dear Stallone, his knife is bigger than yours again.