Superman Review

"Superman" is the best DC film since Batman fought the Joker back in 2008 (though not anywhere near as entertaining), avoiding the obvious trap of needless world-building in favor of focusing on the "now:" sure, there are superfluous cameos and scenes that exist purely to setup the next few films, but they are brief, fleeting moments in an otherwise completely ordinary superhero film. 

Problem with that praise is that so often do DC movies suck eggs, but seen on a big screen, in a crowded theater on a comfy reclining leather chair, it made for a good time at the movies, which is what I am all about. It might be average for the genre, but it's above-average for DC, one with a clear vision, directed by a sure hand- I would rank it on-par with 1995's "Batman Forever."

David Corenswet plays the titular Superman, whose jawline certainly looks the part made famous by the late Christopher Reeve and whose body looks good in a rubber suit. As the film opens, he loses a fight to the "Hammer of Boravia," a supervillain who's quickly revealed to be Ultraman. As someone who grew up with toy dinosaurs and monster trucks and not action figures with capes, the naming is so goofy that I'm surprised the property isn't a parody of the genre. He's controlled remotely by people working for Lex Luthor (played without hair by Nicholas Hoult), nameless grunts rocking joysticks and pressing buttons, and so anytime he's onscreen fighting it's about as exciting as watching someone else play a video game.

But that's OK, because all Superman needs to do is a quick whistle and look in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane. No, it's a CGI dog! Naw just kidding, it's Krypto the Superdog. (Like come on, how can anyone take this stuff seriously?) The pup drags him (in a straight line for what seems like half a mile) to the "Fortress of Solitude," where some big magnifying glass-looking thing concentrates the sun, healing our protagonist right up into fighting shape. His domain requires his DNA to enter, but otherwise has no security protecting his ice castle; I suppose he doesn't really have all that many neighbors in Antarctica.

But when returning to the fight, his home base was spotted by "The Engineer," played by María Gabriela de Faría, another baddie. Her powers are a bit vague to me, being able to "make anything she can think of," or something. I imagine not anything, or else she would just turn into a walking hunk of kryptonite, but I digress. She also works for the evil Mr. Luthor, who runs "LuthorCorp," who spends his time trying to persuade the government that Superman is a threat, when he isn't standing around his office yelling at everyone. It's like how I imagine it is working at X, formerly known as Twitter. 

Lex is supposedly really smart, though apparently not smart enough to know Superman's real identity, which frustrated me until a throwaway line about the caped hero's special "glasses." They apparently change how others see him, or something like that, which is a cool idea if the audience saw it. Instead, we just see David in normal pants and dopey hair.

So what's the plot? It's surprisingly deep all things considered, with Luthor planning to start a war by having the fictional nation of Boravia invade the equally fictional country of Jarhanpur. I can't say why due to spoilers, but it doesn't feel all that far-fetched in today's political climate (a megalomaniac's ambitions are seldom wholesome). That is, of course, until we see his VFX-heavy inter-dimensional portal thing, allowing him to instantly teleport all over the globe.

"Superman" comes to us from Marvel-traitor James Gunn, and James Gunn "the director" certainly knows how to direct an action scene: you can clearly see what's going on and rarely becomes a mess of computer-generated special effects soup. And James Gunn "the writer" can come up with a few amusing jokes, spacing them far enough apart that the whole production doesn't become a self-aware, self-righteous ego-trip that distracts from the grounded narrative. But "writer/director" James Gunn struggles to flesh out characters, giving them all the depth of Krypto's water dish. They come onto the screen with little introduction (like "The Justice Gang"), who all have a preexisting relationship with Superman despite never explaining where their powers came from or how they know each other. The movie just sorta expects you to know already, like a sequel to a film that never existed.

I also felt yucky when some of Gunn's jokes verge on cruel, mostly around Daily Planet newspaper employee Jimmy (Skyler Gisondo). He's introduced with female coworkers gawking at how attractive he is. Not only does this make zero sense when he literally sits next to Super-freaking-man, but he is like a solid "five" at best. But his personality is also gross, especially a main plot-point about his secret affair with Luthor's girlfriend Eve. She's played by Sara Sampaio and her whole personality is just lounging around in flashy clothing taking selfies. But Jimbo isn't actually attracted to her, just using her for information on Lex despite her obvious infatuation. Why is he so repulsed by her? Because her toes look like "shrimp" or something. Har hee har har.

I also fault ye olde fallacy of the talky villain, the cliche where the bad guy, instead of just killing the protagonist, talks and talks again and again about their plan. This is common in popcorn films like this, so the hero can figure out a way to escape while they're gabbing, but "Superman" wants to be more than a simple summer blockbuster. If Lex is allegedly a genius, you'd think he'd be smarter than a man with three nipples from James Bond.

But the silliest thing is how "Superman" shows, that in 2025, a newspaper would still be a thing,