Hubie Halloween Review

The problem with Adam Sandler is that he makes the same comedy every few years, and the problem with fans of those movies is that they often don't like his new movies- if his new movies suck, then, logically, his old ones suck too. That's the case with his latest laugh-free fest "Hubie Halloween," which plays out like a "The Waterboy" sequel set on October 31st.

Sandler plays Hubie, a goofy talking nice guy who lives with his overprotecting mom in Salem where everyone picks on him. His heart of gold is constantly dumped on by his neighbors, who prank him, insult him, and throw things at him on his bike (one of the only amusing running gags is how the objects hurled at him grow more ridiculous as the runtime continues). His lifelong crush also secretly loves him, and whether or not they get together depends on if you can stomach your way through to the end. But when people start disappearing, it's up to this local loser to save the day. Geez, doesn't this all sound familiar? Yet to make fun of "Hubie Halloween" makes you no better than the mean townsfolk; if you can live with that, then please, hit me up sometime and we'll trade putdowns.

Like always, every main, secondary, and tertiary character is played by someone you all know, and practically everyone has previously appeared in a Sandler picture, as if the only scripts that ever come across their desk is from Happy Maddison Productions. I suppose once it was fun to try to spot the next celebrity cameo, but by now, it's exhausting. Oh look, it's Shaquille O'Neal. Isn't it funny that he has the voice of a woman?

Actually I'll stop right there- it was amusing. I didn't laugh, but my stern lips did curl into a slight grin, and my mind mildly tickled at the juxtaposition. But that's not enough for a recommendation. There should be more entertainment to the millions of dollars on film.

And it's a shame, because the Halloween shown here is something that families won't be able to enjoy in 2020; kids trick or treating, older kids partying with alcohol, and adults screaming their way through haunted houses. All the decorations on display is lost to a script that never finds anything interesting to do with the celebratory sets. But I'm sure that's going to be the biggest draw for Netflix subscribers, desperate not only for familiar faces but also spooky atmosphere where the biggest threat isn't politics or disease but a dope trying to solve a mystery.

I suppose there isn't anything necessarily wrong here- you watch it, forget it, and move onto the next holiday classic. Only this isn't a classic, but neither are a lot of movies at first. I doubt "Hubie Halloween" will ever achieve that status (actually I'm confident it won't), but what does it matter what I say? Adam Sandler movies are consistently among the most watched Netflix Originals, so go and watch it already. I'll be streaming more satisfying cinematic experiences elsewhere.