Blade of the 47 Ronin Review

"Blade of the 47 Ronin" is a relic of a simpler cinema era, where cheapo sequels were destined to video rental or perhaps a TV premier. I mean sure, you can buy this on DVD if you are one of few without a Netflix account, but by debuting day-and-date on the streamer, the process is the same. This is a cheapo sequel destined to be viewed outside the big screen. So what? Does that mean I can't recommend this? Why not? Just because it's a low-budget distraction at best? Sometimes all I need is to be distracted.

Please don't read too far into that- this is most certainly not a "great" film in the sense of the performances, scale or plot, but the action and pacing are pretty spot-on, at least for the minimal dollars at the filmmakers disposal.

For those who completely forgot about the giant box office bomb that was 2013's "47 Ronin," staring Keanu Reeves, this is a sequel to that one, and unsurprisingly, Mr. Reeves is not in this one. But that didn't stop costar of the actor's third John Wick flick, Mark Dacascos, from nabbing a supporting role here, playing Shinshiro, but look at me getting ahead of myself.

Shinshiro is one of several Samurai lords who fear that the evil witch Yurei (Dan Southworth) has killed off all remaining heirs to the original 47 Ronin, and is looking for the two halves of a sword that, if acquired before the next blood moon, would make him unstoppable. The samurai immediately dissolve into fighting each other verbally for the best way forward. My favorite suggestion is guns, brought up by Nikko (Chikako Fukayama), not because I'm a fan of the weapon in real-life but because when he's later in a brawl, he breaks out a firearm and blasts the opposing baddie who wields just a sword. I dunno, he's convinced me.

Anyway, it turns out that there is actually a remaining bloodline to the 47 Ronin, and the good guys, lead by Shinshiro, his niece Onami (Teresa Ting) and Reo (Mike Moh), believe they've found her. Luna, played by Anna Akana, a New Yorker who just happens to be in Budapest selling a family heirloom. (One of the two halves of the infamous sword perhaps?) She understandably has a hard time believing that she is the person they're looking for, but enough convincing, they have just five days before the next blood moon, and she needs to be trained by the way of the samurai. Honestly, I don't think you could teach someone to ride a bike in five days.

So Luna trains under Onami, while her uncle tries to locate his fellow samurai who have gone missing because plot. During these exercises, Luna asks why Onami isn't considered a samurai, which she explains is because she's a woman. Woman, you see, can be onna-musha, but not samurai. I bring this up not because it's ever followed up on, but because she has a good point. Breaking the gender-barriers of the ancient fighters would make for an interesting narrative, so why bother with any of this hokum nonsense!?

Anyway, silly as it may be, nothing I've described so far has been bad, but oh yes, something here stinks. In fact, it stinks so bad it actually sucks, and that is the acting. It's beyond awful. It does not do any favors to the stereotype and stigma martial arts films have in America. English is a hard language, I get that, so why bother with English at all? Aren't they in Budapest? My internet research tells me their official language is Hungarian, so everyone speaking English doesn't make logical sense!

None of that matters though, because when it comes to delivering the goods, "Blade of the 47 Ronin" does so with goods to spare. The fight sequences are frequent, bloody and brutal, with bodies flown around like dolls in hotels, trains and secret underground hideouts. The violence doesn't have a point, but it's satisfying, B-movie material.

Eventually, Yurei kidnaps Luna, and just when all hope is lost, Reo announces he can find her by tracking her tablet. How convenient! But just when our heroes pinpoint her location, he says "let's split up," and everyone agrees. Why would they split up, you have a tracker on her! But it is inconsistencies like this that add to its charm.

Before I go (and you go), it'd like to bring up how the editor here is Chuck Norris. And according to IMBD, it is not the same man who once stopped a chainsaw with his bare hands. What a shame.