Me Time Review

Netflix's latest, "Me Time," commits the greatest comedy movie sin: it isn't very funny. And although it would be easy to pick on a terrible movie, that's not the case here. Instead, it's just sad, with a cast as talented as Kevin Hart, Mark Wahlberg and Regina Hall stuck in a film where writer/director John Hamburg throws every setup he's got without ever coming up with the punchline.

Instead, any smile I ever cracked felt like a rare bit of improv, and though I don't have the shooting script to prove my thesis, thinking about "how" this crap ended up being made in the first place is more interesting than actually sitting through it. Don't believe me, then how did Ilia Isorelýs Paulino outshine the entire main cast with a role only slightly bigger than a cameo?

You watch in amazement that these actors would stoop to the lows of puke, poop and fart jokes, but here they are, smiling at a simple days work. This is actually a bit of a disingenuous statement; Hall is given the hapless role of playing Hart's wife, your stereotypical Hollywood "bread-winning wife." She not only has no humorous material to say, but more lamentably, she's given no opportunity to even try. Her role in this production is to provide tension between her husband and Wahlberg, coming up only when the narrative demands a new change in scenery. But with a new environment comes more terrible CGI animals but wow hey, I don't want to give any spoilers now.

In a more successful movie, actually describing the plot before punching holes in it would help, but "Me Time" isn't even on the cusp of being successful. It's not even bad in a fascinating way; instead limping along at an unhurried pace until everything is abruptly wrapped with a pretty bow of convenience.

Kevin plays Sonny, a say-at-home dad who's old pal Huck invites him to his 44th birthday. His wife Maya takes the kids to her parents house, and that's it. That's the clothesline to which over a hundred minutes of boredom plays out on. There are a few false starts, like when loanshark Stan (Jimmy O. Yang) shows up, upset that Huck would spend all this money on a party without paying him back. I thought to myself "oh, they're gonna be on the run" or something, but no. Instead, defecating in someone's bed becomes not only an occurrence, but a running gag.

There's also a side plot about Sonny and Maya's kid's talent show, with the father doing everything he can to make sure it's the "best" talent show ever. You know, the one where kids do outrageous Cirque du Soleil-style stuff. The best my school could ever do was get children even interested in doing one. Standard, sitcom-level garbage.

But for as aborted as the viewing experience is, these are at least attractive stars, and they do have a natural chemistry that even a stillborn script can't sink. That's not enough to recommend "Me Time" however. Sorry Marky Mark, but there are no good vibrations here. I'm giving this one and a half stars, one half for each of the three leads. What happened to the rest of the stars? Please see paragraph one.