Monday, March 18, 2024

Irish Wish Review

Hallmark Channel has Lancey Chabert, Great American Family has Candace Cameron Bure, and now Netflix has Lindsey Lohan. "Irish Wish" marks the second collaboration between the streamer and the actress after 2022's "Falling for Christmas." And good for them, because she is a wonderful actress with impeccable comedic prowess. But boy-howdy did they pick another stinker of a script.

Lindsey plays Madeline, a book editor for the dreamy charmer of an author Paul Kennedy (Alexander Vlahos), who's of course Irish. And wouldn't you know, she has a massive crush on him, who's actually a pretty lousy guy. She dreams of writing her own book, which he promises he'll help with, but "his" comes first. Really Maddie has an awful taste in men. But anyway, at a book launch event... Or something... She inadvertently introduces him to one of her friends Emma (Elizabeth Tan), and they end up getting married just a few months later. In Ireland, naturally.

Maddie's jealous (and her mother's disappointed, since she tells her everything for some reason), but the film wisps us off to Ireland barely twenty minutes into the runtime. And like any of these films, in a luggage mix-up, she meets a different guy, also Irish, a kinda slender-hunk photographer named James (Ed Speleers). Because of course she would.

Everyone is staying at Paul's families house, which is a massive mansion (what else could it be, really), complete with butlers and expensive sculptures, the works.

It also has some absolutely gaudy wallpaper; like every single room is draped in this atrocious wallpaper. Wall-to-wall ugly. Sometimes it was all I could look at. Not the sign of a worthwhile movie, I'd say.

Paul surprises everyone the day they arrive (where no one has jetlag, somehow) with a picnic. But before the picnic, they decide to go on a little boat ride, except for Maddie, who would rather sulk in her emotions on a walk by herself. She accidentally sits on the magic wishing chair, complete with a fairy (Dawn Bradfield), who's performance is like from a completely different movie, who grants her wish. Her, ahem, Irish wish.

I could go over the plot some more but why bother? It's a cheapo romantic comedy that fetishizes over scenic Ireland like a travel brochure. Only I'm sure the writings there more inspired.

I dunno, I've watched a lot of these quickie romcoms over the years, but "Irish Wish" is the first time I've ever seen erotic darts. It's all very PG of course, but hey, when in Ireland...

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